Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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