Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
