She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Help. Why am I so naked?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
