she looked like the bat from fern gully.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
