playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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