Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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