I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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