shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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