I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
