I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
