8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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