Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
