let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do vagina's smell?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
