I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
