I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
is that a dick in a sweater?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
