well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
