I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
