I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
