her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
