In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
