I bet he comes in French.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize