i don't plan on having that self control this summer
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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