She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
