Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
