butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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