So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I AM VODKA MAN
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
