You really coming over, don't trick.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
