dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
