As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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