Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
