I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
