a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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