I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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