You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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