dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We're not piercing ourselves today.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
