New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm really busy with my period
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