Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize