she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
