Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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