i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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