I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
