what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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