yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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