the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
