soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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