I'm going to jail i love you
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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