I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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