The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
