To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
