id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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