so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
