He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
