Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize