I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
how drunk are you?
Several
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
