better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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