Barsexuality is the new black.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
