:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Someone signed my nipple.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
