I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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